Bring it, 2011

New Years Resolushuns

  1. Lose all sense of tact and reserve when talking about what’s on my mind
  2. Pick up a cost effective bad habit to replace my expensive ones
  3. Sever all emotional attachments
  4. Write a lot more
  5. Quit drunk driving
  6. Learn how to juggle
  7. Learn how to yodel
  8. Learn how to yodel while juggling
  9. Install the fear of God in my girls and make them watch videos on delivering babies and meth
  10. Go shooting more
  11. Get a bigger place for my girls and I to live
  12. Get back into Sallie Mae’s good graces so I can go back to school
  13. Get roofied in Vegas by a mentally dysfunctional person
  14. Get proposed to so I can say “no”
  15. Learn German
  16. Go on a real vacation aside from the Vegas roofie trip
  17. Resolve not to wait until a marked day on the calendar to resolve things in my life that are less than favorable
  18. Waste not a moment of my time on that which will deter me from what I’ve set to resolve while my fancy new calendar is on my wall

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